I give the details here for it might assist another with issues that they, he or she might be having.

I am very grateful that I am able to figure out what is wrong with myself. Meaning that if I am depressed, I can actually diagnose the situation and then take action. Too often people can become depressed or have another illness and not be able to figure out what is wrong without going to the doctor. Then there are trials of medications. Some work, some require dosage changes, some do not work. Please do NOT misunderstand what I am saying. If you feel that you may be depressed and that you need help, seek the aid of a physician. This has happened to me twice before. For me, I have discovered that it is best to figure out what is wrong and then see the doctor and make my request.

The first time that this happened to me was 1984. Right, I am Orwellian. My daughter had gone away to college. It did not bother me one wit. Really! But I stopped sleeping. And I mean that I acquired a real and nasty bout of insomnia that lasted for 6 months. It was bad enough, that I could say that I stopped sleeping altogether (although that was not quite true). I became afraid of “nighttime.” I did not wish to rely upon sleeping pills. I read everything on earth that I could find out about insomnia. I discovered that along with my estrogen, I should be taking progesterone. So, I asked my OBGYN for a prescription. I started taking the new hormone immediately. There was no relief whatsoever. Obviously, I had not quite finished my research. Remember there was no Internet back then. Back to my research. The doctor new nothing. I might add that this town is a pill pushing town when it comes to the practice of medicine. That is simply the medical tradition here.

The upshot of this is that I discovered a prescription, made to order, made from a yam, in suppository form, medication. Yams contain natural progesterone. One dose and I slept like a baby from that day forth. I continue to do so although I stopped taking the drug long ago. The next time that this happened to me my physician gave me Zoloft. In two weeks I felt fine and wished to come off the drug. But, I could not do so. When I told my physician the problem he chuckled and said to me” “yeah, my daughter can’t seem to come off it either.” This was not the response that I hoped for! I got the flu shortly there after. I was ill enough that I needed to go to bed for several days. Low and behold, I slept trough my pill taking time. I awoke, got up, dressed, went about my day and I was off the Zoloft and the nasty effects of coming “off” it. Thankfully.

I have had many life changes recently. When that happens to you when older, if can have depressive effects. I added up all of these changes and said to myself: “of course you are depressed.” But something did not quite sit right, something was off with my thinking. I just felt as if I had not thought it fully through. And I hadn’t. One of those changes is that after 30 years and five failed attempts I actually successfully came off my estrogen, about 4-7 weeks ago. After realizing this I now knew exactly what was going on. Hormones again. I shall seek the assistance of a physician who works with bio-identical hormones. I had looked to switch from traditional hormone therapy to bio-identical about five years ago. No one here had any idea of what I spoke. Today this town is full of doctors who prescribe them. Just Google it. So a poem to lift the spirits:


“U” “R”

feeling … dePRESSed … R U?

DIS – – – affected


you (R) wishing

that U could leave

Go somewhere else

Begin [Again]

DE {pression}

Is not unique
to you

…… But you are

To this

there is [no one]

….. like you

FACT gives


A variety of GI…FTS
Unique to


cover what they R

they ///// Will /////

Give you the tools . . . . .
that U need

Tools 2 unlock your…..SELF


sELf … selfIE … U.

2 find within
The key to what WILL

H>E>L>P … u

You might say:

What IS wrong?

Then you may see your



what is wrong ??? hMM

U have HA…D many cha{N}ges

So, you know

that {ALL} of those (c) hang es


OH (my) OH (my) Finally . . . . .

(I) get IT





Mary has shared some incredible photos at the Poetry Pantry of Annell’s. Photos from “Fall Comes to Cimarron Canyon,” New Mexico, USA. They are glorious! So Poetry Pantry it is!

I shall be around to see you Monday morning.

18 thoughts on “NOT A SELFIE

  1. thanks liz for sharing not only the poem but a bit of your way as well… i def. think it’s important to really ask ourselves what’s wrong with us in times when we’re feeling down… and some things maybe can be solved by changing our lfestyle or really deal with things that are going wrong… very encouraging

  2. Great to see you posting, Liz, and to hear you have delved within and figured out what seems to be going on. Yes, you have been through a major change, and it does discombobulate us, it seems. I like the way you played with the words in your poem. Pretty cool. Thanks for sharing, because it will help others who may be dealing with the same situation.

  3. Thank you for your honesty and sharing so much of yourself. Having seen a few people around me grapple with depression, I’d say the first step is acknowledgement. As long as people are in denial, no one and nothing can help. Another thing is to be able to anticipate that certain things in our lives, or certain times of year, bring about depressing thoughts and not be surprised when they happen. Unfortunately not one situation is the same and it is necessary for people to find their own path towards some kind of healing.

  4. I am glad you figured things out, Liz. You definitely would not be someone to sit idly by without trying to do something to get yourself out of depression. You have made a major change in your life, so it is no wonder. I do hope that bio-identical hormones are helpful.

  5. Thanks for the personal share Liz ~ I have seen depression among my family and its not a good sight ~ Good for you for taking control of your health and taking the needed steps to handle it ~ I have been lucky so far in my health aspect and I keep myself busy with work and poetry, what else ~ Take care ~

  6. all too often we want to deny the feelings inside us…especially when we are feeling down not wanting to pull others in with us…and we can feel so helpless in the face of depression…introspection is good…when we allow it…and being honest with ourselves….and truly seeking help when we need it…

  7. I have been through several compounded of bio-identical — and so far unsuccessful. Not in the mood, or have the energy to do different at this time — I am sticking with tried and true pharmaceutical RX …. I realize it is not suppose to be good for me — but I value my sleep — and everyone around me appreciates that I do too. 😀

Your words of response are greatly appreciated.

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